Single Women and the New Happily Ever After

Single women are rewriting the fairytale. Gone are the days when a wedding dress, a charming partner, and a shared surname defined a woman’s “happily ever after.” Today, more and more single women are choosing a different kind of ending. Nowadays, they prefer one that’s built on independence, self-worth, and fulfillment. For them, singlehood isn’t a detour or a delay. It’s the destination. A powerful, intentional choice that reflects a redefined vision of happiness and success.

As someone who has observed this shift and spoken to many women embracing it, I’ve seen how the single life is no longer viewed as lacking, but rather as liberating.

The Numbers Don’t Lie

According to the 2022 National Demographic and Health Survey, the number of Filipino women aged 15 to 49 in live-in or cohabiting arrangements rose from just 5% in 1993 to 19% in 2022. There’s a global trend as well: in Western countries like the U.S., over 20 million adults were in cohabiting relationships as of 2022.

This shift doesn’t necessarily mean that love is off the table. It only reflects a change in how single women are choosing to experience love, partnership, and, most importantly, themselves.

Why Single Women Are Choosing to Stay Single

1. Choosing Freedom 

Many single women are now choosing cohabitation over marriage or passing on relationships altogether because of the flexibility it offers. They’re free to prioritize their careers and personal growth or simply enjoy life on their terms.

2. Economic Practicality

Weddings and marriages come with high costs, both financially and emotionally and mentally. Many women are already carrying the weight of professional and household responsibilities, and staying single can mean one less burden to carry. Independence isn’t just a dream. It’s a practical, often necessary, decision.

3. Emotional Self-Preservation

Many single women have witnessed or experienced toxic relationships that left them burned out rather than fulfilled. Many women are tired of doing the emotional heavy lifting in their relationships. And with growing awareness around emotional trauma and mental health, more women are choosing to protect their peace. Being single can feel like a sanctuary, a space to heal, rediscover, and grow without compromise.

4. The Evolving Meaning of Love

Today’s single women know that love doesn’t have to come from a romantic partner. It can come from friendships, family, community, creativity, and self-connection. Women have learned to build strong emotional support systems outside romantic relationships. They’re redefining what it means to be loved, and they’re no longer afraid to walk away from anything that doesn’t serve their well-being.

5. High Standards and Low Patience for Red Flags

As women become more self-aware, their standards rise. They’re no longer flattered by bare-minimum effort or willing to settle for half-hearted love. From ghosting and breadcrumbing to toxic masculinity, modern dating can be exhausting. Many single women are opting out entirely, unless a partner truly adds value to their already full lives.

In a country as culturally conservative as the Philippines, the pressure to marry young and “settle down” still exists. But the grip is loosening. Parents who once insisted on weddings now accept and sometimes even support their daughters choosing cohabitation, careers, or personal passions over marriage, as long as they’re genuinely happy. The once-dreaded “matandang dalaga” label is losing its sting.

More single women are realizing that staying single doesn’t mean being unloved, unwanted, or incomplete. It often means being free, whole, and unafraid.

Single women today are not failing to find love. They’re winning by choosing themselves. For many Filipinas and women, the idea of “happily ever after” is no longer tied to a marriage certificate or a partner’s last name. It’s tied to peace, purpose, independence, and fulfillment.

And if that’s not a fairytale ending, what is?